Matt Brundage

• …in a browser. Ideal specimens, in descending order, are Firefox 3, Opera 9.5, Safari 3.1, Firefox 2, IE7. Browser chrome should be optimized to increase viewable page area. Application(s) should — naturally — be maximized.
• …with an operating system released this decade on a PC manufactured after 2003. An Internet connection speed of at least 200kbps. Memory of at least 512mb. A system not infected with viruses or spyware.
• …with a minimum screen resolution of 1024×768, although 800×600 is still unofficially supported.
• …on a computer monitor with a contrast ratio of at least 600×1, at least 80 candelas per square meter (nits), and an ambient correlated color temperature of approximately 5000K. Ideal monitor connections are, in descending order, HDMI, Display Port, DVI, and VGA. Additionally, other factors will affect viewing, including proper visual perception and adequate room lighting (indirect natural sunlight and/or shielded halogens are recommended).

Additionally, readers should possess a strong command of the English language and should have the ability to detect such subtleties as irony, parody, and attempts at wry humor. Reading this post while under extreme mental anguish or substantial physical pain is not recommended.

I’ve been meaning to publish this for a while, but was never really motivated. Image: a graph of the changing weight of the main CSS file of this site. I’m not sure how much one could glean from this information — it doesn’t tell you the efficiency of the CSS declarations, only the size of the file. This file is important to the site, as every page accesses it and is styled by it. For that reason, it pays to keep the file small and compact.

There’s not really that much I can tell you about the graph. Summer 2004 saw my discovery of the Firefox browser — the CSS file promptly increased fourfold as I started to rely on CSS for layout purposes. It’s hard to believe now, but before summer 2004, I was coding solely in IE. The peak file size came in April 2006, as the CSS file was bloated after I had recently installed the Wordpress blogging software. I’ve since been moving declarations into the Wordpress template CSS file. Nothing to write home about, I know…

Next, I’d like to give mad props to Ray and Jade for bringing those wonderful chocolate chip cookies to the party on Saturday. Wow. It’s a wonder that Jade isn’t pushing 200 lbs with the mastery that Ray displays in the kitchen.

Put an end to senior citizen discounts. You read that correctly. No more 1/2 off breakfast platters at Denny’s and IHOP. No more $3 off movie tickets. No more discounted hotel rooms or plane rides.

The myth that seniors fall into poverty when they retire couldn’t be further from the truth, as a visit to the Census Bureau website will attest. In 2006, the percentage of seniors (those over 64) in poverty was a mere 9.4% — about 25% less than the national average. Minors (those under 18) were almost twice as likely to be in poverty, with a rate of 17.4%.

If an establishment must discriminate based on age, a “minor discount” or “under-18 discount” would be the most logical, as that age group has the highest levels of poverty. 45 years ago, though, seniors were the ones suffering the most. Sadly, they are still stuck with that reputation.

No, you heard that right. Despite being referred to as one in the original books, multiple television shows, and the recent feature film, Curious George is not actually a monkey, but is more likely a stylized chimpanzee. A chimp is technically not a monkey but an ape. While the great majority of monkeys are tailless, the macaque is a notable exception. George looks nothing like a macaque; the chances that his likeness was adapted from an actual monkey are slim. Curious George is not a monkey.

My mom has a family tree program in which she’s entered literally thousands of names, some dating back centuries. One of the benefits — if you can call it that — is that you start discovering that you’re related to famous people. For instance, my mom recently emailed me with the good news:

…
Dick Cheney is your 9th cousin twice removed.
Franklin D Roosevelt is your 7th cousin 3 times removed.
William H Taft is your 6th cousin 5 times removed.
…

In other words, one of Dick Cheney’s 128 great great great great great great grandfathers happens to be one of my 512 great great great great great great great great grandfathers. And so forth. Oh, and I’m also related to George W. Bush and John Kerry, both by marriage.

I’m thinking that, if more families researched their genealogy, most would find out that they too are somehow related to famous people. But then it wouldn’t be so special.

Why are there about 441,000 hits on Google for the phrase “riddle me this“, but absolutely no results for the likely answer, “I riddled him that“?

“Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you” —Nathaniel Hawthorne

My parents actually had a framed poster of this quote hanging in their bathroom for the longest time. It depicted a couple of cartoon children chasing butterflies in a 1970s-ish field of flowers. Why is this relevant today? Because I had one of those moments just recently. You see, it all started when I heard a particular Yo La Tengo song in passing on KEXP-FM. It must have struck a chord with me, because I remembered it and tried to find it. It was growing on me, but I had yet to hear it a second time! I wracked my brain, trying to Google the song by its lyrics. No luck. I thought about going into Yo La Tengo chat rooms and saying, I’m looking for this song, but I don’t know what it’s called and I don’t know the lyrics… I eventually decided against this.

Just the other day, I had my Winamp on shuffle, and all of a sudden, I heard it emanating from my speakers again! Turns out it’s called “Today is the Day” from Summer Sun. Sublime. Slow and deliberate. Earthy. Ethereal. Hazy. Hypnotic. I must have downloaded it off one of my podcasts or something, because I have no recollection of finding it. Totally insane.

Is there something about the sight of Lindsay Lohan with one closed eye that movie execs find particularly attractive? Apparently so, for three of her past four feature films contain pervasive promotional material that features her winking gratuitously to the camera, breaking the fourth wall in the process. Consider these images from Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, Herbie: Fully Loaded, and her newest film, Just My Luck.

As far as I can tell, Fox has even factored Lohan’s winking into the plot of Just My Luck, as the tagline “Everything changed in the wink of an eye.” appears on the official movie poster. I have a feeling this is going to get worse before it gets better.

Amazon.com’s wishlist goes German on me… It’s funny that the other options aren’t in German, only the first, translated as “I must have.” Amazon does have a German site, so there must be a cross-pollination thing going on or something.

File this one in the that’s gotta be intentional department: check out the new HD trailer for the upcoming Mel Gibson film Apocalypto. At approximately 1:46 into the clip, this frame appears for a fraction of a second. Going over the sequence a second and third time, I could barely make out the image when viewed in real time: Mel in a wife-beater and unbuttoned plaid workshirt, a Camel hanging from his smiling mouth, full beard and head of hair. Totally insane.

Apparently, I’m a bit late on this scoop, but better late than never.